I'm not proud of letting it get like this. I don't want to feel much older than I am. I don't want to feel held back. I don't want to sit back and let life pass me by.
What do I want?
I want a lot of things. I want to tell God when I meet Him one day that I was a good steward with what He gave me. I want to sleep naturally, and completely through the night. I want to have more energy. I want to feel *good*. I want to lose weight. I want to like what I see in the mirror. I want to be confident that I am treating this body, mind and soul with the care and respect it deserves. I want confidence.
So that's it where it starts. The decision to change. Seems so simple, yet it took me so long to get here. I could sit here all day with shoulda-coulda-woulda's... but I won't. The point is that I'm making changes. And not temporary ones, either. This is a total lifestyle change, and honestly? I'm so excited for it.
We all read the articles floating around out there. The dangers of high fructose corn syrup, aspartame, genetically modified foods (that includes animals now, too), plastic-like compounds that are used as 'filler' for so many foods.... the list goes on...and on... and on. They're true. It's no wonder so many of us are severely overweight, cancer rates are at an all-time high, and more and more people have a laundry list of health problems (which typically includes a laundry list of medications).
We have all this crazy crap in our foods, in our cleaners, in our medicines, in hygiene products.... but so many sit by and do nothing. I was one of them, too. The last couple years I've read so much material on the chaos that is the American Food & Drug industry (and it's quickly invading the rest of the world, too). But I took the attitude that it wasn't worth my time or energy.....there are bigger fish to fry.... we have more important problems... "I'm not going to be a food nazi."
I'm not a "food nazi" now, either. And I don't plan to turn into one. I will, however, be much more mindful of what I'm putting in, on and around my body. My body was given to me by God, as a Holy vessel.... and yet this is how I've treated it all these years? I owe God an apology.
That being said, I'm also human, and I live in the real world. It is not my plan to obsess. I have one life to live, I'm not going to spend every minute obsessing over what food I'm going to eat or what cleaner I'm going to use. But I am making changes to live a cleaner, healthier life - and so is Paul.
For those who may not know, Paul is my husband. He's my best friend, confidante, soul mate. I never thought I would end up with such an amazing life partner. He's so encouraging and supportive of anything I do. I couldn't embark on this journey without his support. Once we sat down and talked about all of this, he couldn't have been more supportive and totally on-board to join me. He also recognizes the importance of treating our bodies with care, and I am so thankful for that. When it came time to thinking about starting a blog - he was also an amazing cheerleader, pushing me to follow my heart and keep a log of the journey.
That's why I'm doing this. I'm not doing this to get on a soap-box and preach at people. I'm conducting an experiment of sorts, with Paul and I as the test subjects. And it's not easy to share some of these details. I'm a relatively private person - so letting the world know these things is not exactly my ideal situation. But - perhaps there is someone out there in a similar situation as me... knowing there are changes they want to make, but don't know where to start. I don't know everything. Heck, I don't know much. But.. I'm doing it anyway - one day, one step at a time. Even if no one reads it, I can't wait to look back in a few months, and in a year... to see how far I've come. I'll make mistakes, I'll hit set-backs.... but this change is a change for life.
And I'd love for you to join me.