Saturday, March 2, 2013

Dear God - You have my full attention.

Friday scared me to the deepest parts of my soul.

I was driving during morning rush like I typically do.. bumper to bumper traffic on 275N.  It's nothing new.  As most probably know - people drive like way bigger jerks during rush, I don't quite understand it, but I've come to deal with it.

The weather wasn't really bad, just cold and grey.  I was in the left lane, not even going the speed limit since the traffic was so heavy.  I wasn't on my phone, I wasn't daydreaming, I was paying full attention to what I was doing.  In a split second, everything changed.

I noticed the blue sedan to my immediate right was coming - and FAST.  They clearly didn't give the over-the-shoulder blindspot check to make sure the lane was clear... because if they had, they would've seen me.  I had to make a quick reaction - so I swerved to the left shoulder.  After that, all I know is that I was spinning.  And spinning..... and spinning.  I looked out my driver's side window during the spin and saw a semi-truck coming right at me, as I was now sideways in what I think was the middle lane.  All I can remember thinking was literally these words: "Ok - this is it.  This is how it ends." and braced my body to be hit.

..... but I kept going.  and I didn't get hit.  I hit a ditch instead and came to a very hard halt.  I sat there stunned and realized, I went all the way from the left shoulder, to now in the ditch on the RIGHT side of the highway. Four cars pulled over immediately.   They each got out and came running to where I was, asking if I was okay.  All I could do was burst into tears.  Two of them left once they saw I was physically okay.  Two other very kind, thoughtful women waited for me to figure out how to roll my window down and laid their hands on me in comfort.  One was in scrubs - I think she may have said she was a nurse.  I don't remember everything they said, but what I do remember is one says "You must have God in you, girl - that was a miracle."  The woman in scrubs proceeded to tell me what happened.  I did a complete spin, went backwards across the lane, did another spin, and continued backwards into the ditch........... all through heavy traffic. She kept repeating how she thought she was about to watch me die.  Thinking back on it, I think that woman was a little in shock herself. 

I don't even know what I said to those kind ladies.  I don't know if I thanked them, I don't think I did.  I appreciate them, very much - and wish I could tell them that.  At some point I called my husband, I don't really remember doing it.  He was there before I could think straight. I also left a (probably somewhat frantic) voicemail with a friend that I work with, to let him know I wouldn't be there - and I've got no clue what I said on that, either... probably sounded like a lunatic, but I was trembling in fear and shock over what should've been a much more horrific incident.

In hindsight, I figure I hit some gravel and/or ice on the shoulder and just lost control.  I've had to swerve a lot due to careless drivers and never has anything remotely like this happened.

To some, this may not be a big deal.  I figure those are the people that haven't had something like this happen, but maybe not. To me, it terrified me to my core.  I'm still dwelling on it. I'll never forget it as long as I live. There is no question in my mind.... the only reason I made it through is because God guided my car and the other drivers on the road to avoid me.  There is no rational explanation for that to happen.  That semi was feet away from my car - and they don't stop or slow down easily....  Not to mention all the other cars on the road as well.

I am so incredibly grateful that this is such a 'minor' story.  I didn't hurt anyone, or myself - or even my car.  It was stuck in the snowy ditch pretty good, despite both Paul & I's efforts to get it out.... but that was it.  We called a tow, and after about an hour and a half wait, it arrived to pull the car out.  It took some time, but he got it out... and upon inspection - not a scratch, dent, anything.  Amazing.

As cliche as it sounds, things really do change in the blink of an eye. 

The point?  Perhaps God needed my attention, or needed to show me what really matters in life. Lately, I've been dwelling on such relatively minute things.  How quickly it gets put into perspective.  Whatever the case, I know there's a reason it happened - and I'm glad for it.  I obviously needed it.  I'm glad I came out unscathed on the other side, because I understand.... there is a purpose for my being here, because I'm still here....  and I know I shouldn't be.

God, I'm ashamed to say you didn't have it before, but now You have my full attention.  Please use me as you see fit.


  1. Wow how incredible! So glad you are okay. I hate that it takes crazy things to happen before God gets our attention. I know He will continue to guide you to do what he needs you for here in this world.

  2. I'm so glad you're okay! That's terrifying